Breaking Free from a Victim Mentality

by | Apr 1, 2024

Breaking Free From A Victim Mentality

We recently received some upsetting news about our rabbit, Bashful. Unfortunately, his kidneys are not functioning well. One is completely blocked and the other is full of kidney stones. There is no way to reverse this, we can only try to slow it, but, eventually, they will stop working. We have no idea how long he can hold out – days? weeks? months? – and have many emotions surrounding this. Mostly we were (and still are) sad for him, that he has to go through this.

After the sadness, frustration set in. “Why us?” was a phrase that ran through my head often during the following days. I was sad to think about Bashful going through what he was going through and kept wondering why this happened to us. I was stuck in a rut of many negative emotions and needed to free myself from it. This realization prompted me to consider my victim mentality and how to break free from it.

In a 2023 online article, Cuncic states that “People with a victim mentality feel as though bad things keep happening and the world is against them. You may feel as though everyone else is against you, be that your partner, your coworkers, or even your family or friends. Even though there might be things that you can do to help fix the situation, you don’t take responsibility for anything and feel as though everything is out of your control.” I most closely related this feeling to the Eight of Swords tarot card – feeling as if any move will cut me, so I need to stay where I am. Yet I can easily break out of this mental bondage, and choose not to. This is exactly what I was feeling – that the world was against us, and there was absolutely nothing we could do about it.

However, I was constantly reminded of being present. When I would start to feel angry, resentful, or sad, all I had to do was remember that Bashful is here, right now. Worrying about what will happen or being angry about the diagnosis is directing my energy away from the present moment. This situation has caused me to be even more mindful of my time with Bashful and to appreciate each day.

Staying present is one way to break out of a victim mentality. If you find yourself getting stuck in negative thought patterns like this, Cuncic has some other tips to help you break free:

*Accept situations for what they are. The work of Byron Katie helped me understand that fighting against reality causes pain. Accepting is the more peaceful option. It does not mean you have to like the situation – just that you accept it.

*Use the energies of your guides to help you release your mindset. Meditate, pray, journal, or set up a crystal grid to access universal healing energy.

*Say no to things that do not align with your values. So often we get ourselves into trouble by acting against our values. We want to please others, so feel forced to say “yes” when we want to say “no.” Understand that this people-pleasing is part of a victim mindset.

*Make yourself a priority by engaging in self-care. We often put others before us, which can lead to a victim mindset. Even though we may love caring and providing for others, never taking time for self-care can backfire.

*Consider what you can and cannot control in your life situation. As I mentioned earlier, you do not have to like the situation you are in, but you can accept it by determining what you can control and releasing the rest.

Whether you are stuck in this mindset right now or only experience these feelings from time to time, I hope these tips are helpful. Wherever you are on your journey, I am here to support you.